Like There's No Tomorrow by Linnea Valle

Author:Linnea Valle [Valle, Linnea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Linnea Valle
Published: 2018-06-14T05:00:00+00:00

The day of the funeral was the hardest day of my whole life. I seemed to be saying that a lot in the last year. Each new trial I endured just kept getting more difficult. I know the day of the funeral was definitely the hardest day for Sarah. I thought it was difficult to bury a parent, but a brother, your twin? Nothing could compare to the devastation.

We flew to Washington D.C. early the day before. We were scheduled for meetings and tours with various politicos around D.C. Charlie and Carol had accompanied us. Sarah’s parents and Zach’s dad, Richard, were set to fly in early the day of the funeral.

Our Casualty Assistance Officer, James, was there and walked us through what to expect, which included a video for us to watch. He was always there for us. The Army put out information called a Black Line Letter in email form to let other military members know of Eddie’s death. We also had an obituary put in the local paper back home

“The paper did a whole write up with a section dedicated to Eddie. I saved it for you,” Carol said. I couldn’t bring myself to read it. Maybe someday, but I’m sure it would kill me to read about our “charmed life” in the sleepy town we grew up in.

I could imagine the interviews with teachers, friends, Eddie’s team mates and Mr. Holton, our old boss at the burger shop. They’d all say what a fine young man Eddie was and what a tragedy losing him was. Except, no one except me could know the pain or the loss when your brother died, especially when he was your other half. The hole I felt inside my chest felt bigger than my whole body. I wasn’t sure how that was possible, but it consumed me. Even Zach wouldn’t feel the loss in the same way as me. Same as I couldn’t begin to understand what Zach had to go through watching Eddie die.

I tried multiple times to get a hold of Zach. I had so many questions. The Army had answered questions as best they could about what happened, but it was all technical, sterile. They were sympathetic and answered my questions, however, they weren’t there. Zach was, and I needed to hear it from him. Even having been severely injured himself, by all accounts, he crawled to Eddie. The account of what happened after that was sketchy because it seems all hell broke loose and the descriptions of each of the men blurred until it was unrecognizable as a single instance.

Zach never picked up when I called either the hospital or his cell phone. When I called his hospital room, it was always either his parents or a nurse who answered and Zach was never available. I knew it was bullshit and he was avoiding me. I had hoped we’d have a chance to talk after the funeral. Not knowing haunted me day and night, prolonging any sense of peace or closure I might have achieved.

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